Whom Shall I Marry? Wise Counsel from Luis Palau

In the labyrinthine journey of life, the choice of marriage partner weighs heavily upon our hearts. With the potential to profoundly shape our happiness, it's imperative to approach this decision with wisdom and discernment. Reverend Luis Palau, a renowned evangelist and author, offers invaluable guidance in his book, "Whom Shall I Marry?"

Palau asserts that marriage is not merely a human institution but a divine ordinance established by God Himself. By understanding the biblical principles that govern this sacred union, we can discern God's will for our lives and make wise choices that will honor Him and bring us lasting fulfillment.

Before You Say "I Do": Questions to Ask Yourself

1. Am I Ready for Marriage?

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires maturity, selflessness, and a deep understanding of one's purpose. Take time to reflect on your own strengths and weaknesses, your values, and your aspirations. Are you emotionally and spiritually prepared to enter into a partnership of this magnitude?

2. Do I Share Common Beliefs and Values with My Partner?

A strong marriage is built upon a shared foundation of beliefs, values, and morals. Discuss with your potential partner your views on faith, family, finances, and major life decisions. Are your perspectives compatible, or are there significant differences that could lead to friction in the future?

3. Am I Physically Attracted to My Partner?

Physical attraction is a natural and important aspect of marriage. While it is not the sole basis for a healthy relationship, it should be present to some degree. Consider whether you find your partner physically attractive and whether there is a mutual desire for intimacy.

4. Do We Resolve Conflict Effectively?

Every marriage experiences conflict. The key is to resolve disagreements in a healthy and productive manner. Do you and your partner communicate effectively? Are you both willing to compromise and work together to find solutions?

Seeking God's Guidance

Palau emphasizes the importance of seeking God's guidance in choosing a marriage partner. He encourages couples to pray together, study the Bible, and listen for God's voice through various means, such as wise counsel from trusted mentors, friends, and family members.

By aligning our desires with God's will, we open ourselves up to His blessings and protection. Marriage is not simply about finding someone who makes us happy in the moment but about choosing a partner who will support us, love us unconditionally, and help us grow into the people God created us to be.

Benefits of a Godly Marriage

1. Emotional Stability and Support

A godly marriage provides a safe haven where spouses can share their joys, sorrows, fears, and aspirations. It is a source of emotional stability and support, giving us the strength to persevere through life's challenges.

2. Spiritual Growth and Maturity

Marriage is a spiritual journey that can foster growth and maturity in both spouses. Through shared experiences and challenges, we learn to rely on God, develop our character, and strengthen our faith.

3. Fulfillment of God's Purpose

When two people marry with God's blessing, they enter into a covenant that transcends their individual desires. Their marriage becomes a means of fulfilling God's purpose for their lives, bringing glory to Him and blessing others.

Tips and Tricks for Finding the Right Person

• Attend church regularly. This is a great way to meet potential partners who share your beliefs and values.
• Join Christian groups or organizations. This provides opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals who may have similar interests.
• Volunteer in your community. Helping others is a wonderful way to meet people who are compassionate and service-oriented.
• Be open to meeting people through friends and acquaintances. Sometimes, the best matches are those that come through indirect connections.
• Trust in God's timing. Don't get discouraged if you don't meet the right person right away. God's plans are perfect, and He will bring the right person into your life when the time is right.

Stories and What We Learn

Story 1:

Sarah and David met at a Christian conference. They were both drawn to each other's kind hearts and shared love for God. After a period of courtship, they got married and have been happily married for over 30 years. Their marriage is a testament to the power of seeking God's will and trusting in His timing.

Lesson: Marriage is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, effort, and a willingness to grow together.

Story 2:

Jessica and Michael rushed into marriage because they were both feeling pressured to settle down. However, their differences in values and life goals soon became apparent. They ended up getting a divorce after just a few years.

Lesson: It's crucial to take time to get to know your potential partner before making a lifelong commitment. Don't let societal pressures rush you into a decision.

Story 3:

John and Rachel had a strong physical attraction to each other. However, they realized that their fundamental beliefs and values were too different. They ended up deciding not to pursue marriage, even though they had initially been very drawn to each other.

Lesson: Physical attraction is important, but it's not the only factor to consider when making a marriage decision. Shared beliefs and values are essential for a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Why Marriage Matters

Marriage is more than just a legal contract or a social institution. It is a sacred union established by God, designed to bring glory to Him and to provide a loving and supportive environment for raising children.

1. Marriage Brings Stability to Society

Stable marriages contribute to a more stable and prosperous society. They provide a foundation for strong families, which are the building blocks of any healthy community.

2. Marriage Promotes Healthy Living

Studies have shown that married individuals have better overall health outcomes than unmarried individuals. They are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors, such as exercising regularly and eating a balanced diet.

3. Marriage Provides Security for Children

Children raised in stable marriages experience better developmental outcomes than children raised in single-parent or unstable homes. They have a higher sense of security, better social skills, and higher academic achievement.

FAQs

1. What if I'm not sure who to marry?

Pray to God for guidance and wisdom. Seek advice from trusted mentors, friends, and family members. Take time to get to know potential partners and observe how they interact with you and others.

2. What if my family doesn't approve of my choice?

Respect your family's opinion, but ultimately, the decision of who to marry is yours. Trust in God's will and be prepared to prayerfully reconsider your choice if there are valid concerns.

3. What if I'm afraid of commitment?

Commitment is a natural fear, but it's important to remember that marriage is a covenant before God. Trust in His love and faithfulness, and take the step of faith.

4. What if I'm not sexually attracted to my partner?

Physical attraction is an important aspect of marriage, but it is not the only factor. Consider whether there is a deeper emotional and spiritual connection. Seek professional help if necessary to address any underlying issues.

5. What if I've been divorced?

God can and does restore broken marriages. Seek reconciliation if possible, but if that is not God's will, trust that He can bring healing and guide you into a new season of life.

6. What if I'm single and over 30?

God's timing is perfect. Don't lose hope, and continue to seek His will. Trust that He has a plan for your life, even if you don't yet see it.

Tables

Table 1: Marriage Statistics

Table 2: Benefits of Marriage

Table 3: Reasons for Divorce